How to raise a happy and warm child?This is the focus of the first 18 years of life

2022-06-08 0 By

Before the age of 3, children need attachment, and parents should meet their physiological needs in time.Children aged 3-12 need discipline and a firm “no” from parents.Adolescent children need choices, parents should be patient to treat them as friends…Famous expert professor Li Meijin criminal mentality and adolescent psychology, through contact with a large number of cases, after many years of practice of investigation found that person in adult behavior and psychology, is a symptom of past experience, a kind of refraction, is closely related to the family rearing patterns at a young age, “what’s in the mind have what” in his eyes.Parents can not help but anxious, how to let the children’s eyes full of happiness, warmth?Professor Li Meijin for different stages of children’s upbringing to give some methods for your reference.0-3 years emotional support 0-3 years is the time when a child establishes a one-to-one attachment to family, which accumulates until the age of 12.Attachment is the origin of emotion. When a child forms an attachment relationship with someone, he will feel happy when he is with the object of attachment.Sad, only the appearance of the attachment object, children will feel comforted.When attachment is satisfied, one is very happy and relaxed, and when one is in a relaxed state, one is very happy looking at external objects.In real life, Li often encountered such heart-rending cases: “Many children hurt their parents in adolescence. Needless to say, most of these children were not raised by their parents before the age of 12, and the emotional connection was not formed.”The crying immune method, which originated in the United States and is once popular around the world, is also being adopted by young Chinese parents. It teaches children to sleep independently and avoid crying.Professor Li Meijin disagrees.She said that children can only cry to express their pain when they are unable to take care of themselves when they eat, drink, exercise, and sleep. At this point, parents should immediately pick up their children to comfort them.Long-term crying can not be pacified children, their internal autonomic nervous system will form excessive tension of memory, affecting the child’s temperament.For instance, there are many in the life “road angry clan” “keyboard man”, little imagine, they “a bit is wearing” hot temper, just from the extensive parenting of parents, all sorts of physiological needs within one year old oneself did not get satisfied.Feeding the child should be placed in the bosom, the smell of the nurturer will make the child feel warm, food, familiar smells will make the child feel comfortable and happy, conducive to the development of attachment.3 years old -12 years old character raising love is a kind of nutrition, but not all, children from the age of 3, gradually have the ability to understand and express, is the key period for children to “establish rules”.At age three, parents learn to say “no” to their children.At four, parents teach children to wait and discipline;At the age of five, parents should teach their children self-management through seduction training and demonstrate how to share with others.At the age of six, children learn to bear hardships through sports.At about age 3, crying is not a physical need, but a psychological need.So how to stop unreasonable crying children?Crying doesn’t work like kids crying at home because they can’t get a cell phone and can’t watch cartoons.At this time the parents should be the child into the bedroom, one to one smiling at the child crying.Until the child is tired of crying, the parent can get up and get a hot towel to wipe the child’s face, let the child feel love for him.When the child’s mood stabilizes, the parents calmly reason with the child: “If the mother wants to see the mobile phone, the father does not give the mother, the mother just like you cry, ok?You’re old enough to say what you need. Crying won’t solve the problem.”When it comes to children’s education, Li meijin reminds parents of “four don ‘ts” : don’t scold children, don’t hit children, don’t reason with crying children, and don’t leave children.”To the crying child, the parent’s sermon is like the noise in the ear;Similarly, if a child is left alone in a room to reflect, it is akin to confinement and not educational at all.”Encourage children to learn to express their own ideas, listen to their parents, and establish a democratic mode of communication with their children.Many parents reflect that “children in middle school do not love learning, in the classroom, looking around, is very affect the academic performance.”Li found that most children with inattention grew up with grandparents and other grandparents.This is because the life of the elderly has no rhythm and regularity, “sometimes give the child to eat a sweet potato, sometimes take the child to visit the neighbor’s house, as time passes, the child’s attention will become distracted.”Unpaced parenting early in life can leave people with little control over themselves as adults.How to teach children around the age of four to learn to wait and endure, so as to develop a sense of self-discipline?Choose a relaxing weekend where parents can take their kids to the mall to pick up toys.After the child is chosen, the parent can say, “This toy exceeded our plan. Do you know why mom and dad go to work every day?The salary will be paid every 30 days. Everything in our family needs planning. Your toy costs 120 yuan, but according to my mother’s budget plan, we can only buy 100 yuan of toys.If we take it home today, we won’t have enough money for next week’s food.””If mom works hard and overtime this week, she can bring this toy home next weekend.”You have to go to bed early. You have to eat right. You have to pick up your toys.Delayed gratification teaches children to wait and endure.In addition to buying toys, Professor Li suggested that after the child turns three, parents can use weekends to let the child sit at the desk quietly to do something, such as a puzzle or drawing.By the time they started school at six, they were able to concentrate for 35 minutes in class.The ability of self-management and sharing with others should also be developed gradually from the age of five.At this time, parents should make appropriate use of temptation training to help children form such ability.How to cultivate children’s self-management ability?Make a snack of your child’s favorite foods, such as chocolate.Play a game in which you divide chocolates into three parts and take out two of them and say, “Baby, you can have both of these chocolates and manage them yourself.If you can eat one today and another tomorrow, mom will give you another tomorrow.”In most cases, when the decision was made for the first time, the child would eat the two chocolates at once and not get the third chocolate.A month later, when playing the game for the second time, the child will learn the lesson, eat the chocolate according to the plan, and gradually develop a good habit of self-discipline.Tell your child, “This is your mother’s test, don’t worry, grow up to learn to wait.”When I was a child, I used to prepare the table, chairs, bowls and chopsticks before eating, and wait until everyone in the family was seated before using them.Father can not work overtime meals on time, mother will use clean bowls and chopsticks for him to leave a separate meal.The best fruit is also reserved for family members who are not at home.Little things in parents’ lives teach children how to share.Children from the age of four should participate in more sports activities, to cultivate hard-working.Children will be out of breath during running. After this stage, they will find no adverse reactions. At this time, parents can tell their children, “They will also encounter this situation in life.When a child learns to swim, he is scared and thinks he is going to die, and then he discovers that he can learn if he doesn’t give up.At this time, parents can tell children, “Everything is from yes to no, this process is the process of their own control of the outside world, do not refuse to try because of fear”.From 12 to 18 years old, when girls are 12 years old and boys are 14 years old, secondary sexual characteristics begin to develop and children enter puberty.In the face of middle school students, parents should first change the concept of education, help children grow up, respect children’s choice.For example, parents can discuss future career directions with their children when they enter the second year of junior high school and offer them at least several career options.Guide in the selection process, rather than roughing it out.Lin Miaomiao, the protagonist of the TV series Life of PI, is an adolescent high school student who has a clear advantage in liberal arts, but fails in math and science.Her mother made her pass all her subjects…So when children have learning difficulties, how should parents guide?What about learning difficulties?Professor Lee Mi-geun s daughter, who did not do well in math in high school, found a good teacher to teach her, but said she would rather spend money on English and history than math.She focused on English and history out of respect for her daughter s opinion, and her daughter s Score in English increased by more than 50 points.Children have the clearest sense of themselves. Give them the opportunity to express themselves and respect their rhythm.In “Life of PI”, Lin Miaomiao and Qian Sanyi’s ignorant love relationship affects the hearts of both parents, so that pei Yin, who has always been doing things sedate, runs to the school to find the teacher in charge, to find Wang Shengnan.It also reflects the tension and anxiety of the parents of adolescent children about love issues.So how to talk about love in adolescence?When her daughter was in middle school, Lee taught her how to establish a correct view of love by using the example of choosing clothes.Choosing clothes is like looking for a mate. When the mother and daughter were shopping for clothes in the mall, they walked to the first shop. When the daughter saw a dress, Li meijin encouraged her to look at other shops besides the dress.In the process of shopping, my daughter found other preferred choices in comparison.Finding a partner is like picking clothes. Middle school is the first place to go. If you start dating young in middle school, you might not see a better boy in the future, lee said.Daughter suddenly realized, from now on to develop a correct love view.People’s life in addition to work, but also have a healthy body, a beautiful family, good interpersonal relationship, the more emotional children are the happier, do not force children simply to succeed.Parenting is an investment in children’s psychology, which is priceless. Through investment, children can remember the voice, appearance and smell of the nurturer to form attachment, which is a kind of intangible psychological capital and a great wealth for children in their future life.Declaration: The copyright of this article belongs to the original author, if there is a source error or infringement of your legitimate rights and interests, you can contact us through the mailbox, we will promptly deal with.Email address: