What if children don’t like to share?Stop pushing your kids and try these 3 tips
The other day, I saw two little boys playing in the square. The older one had a toy car. The younger one wanted to borrow it, but the older one wouldn’t lend it to him, so the child began to cry.The mother said to the older one, would you please lend my brother this toy? I will return it to you later.But the older boy still wouldn’t lend it.Then the child cried even harder.His mother felt sorry for her son, so she said: Brother, just play for a while, you will not break, children should learn to share.As she finished, the older boy hesitated. He could see that he still didn’t want to borrow the toy, but he didn’t know what to do.At this time, the mother of the big children came over and said to the children gently: children, brother has not played enough of his toys, and he will give you to play enough, you play other first.”The mother said, and went off to be with her child.The child’s mother saw her child crying and couldn’t help complaining. No wonder the child didn’t want to share. So did the mother.I don’t know if the mother of the older child heard this, but I gave her a thumbs-up in my heart.The issue of children sharing has always been of great concern to parents.Because it’s about children’s interpersonal skills.In our concept, to get along with people should help each other, give and take.Not sharing represents selfishness, and selfish people are people no one wants to associate with.Parents believe that children should learn to share, which is more conducive to children’s interpersonal communication.However, the reality is that many children don’t want to share.And in many cases, parents feel awkward when their children don’t share.Imagine a gathering of friends and relatives, and the children have a conflict because they do not share it. Even though it is between the children, it will also make the adults feel embarrassed and embarrassed.At such times, parents often force their children to share, only to break their children’s hearts.In fact, there is a reason why children do not love to share. If parents do not pay attention to their children’s inner thoughts and blindly ask their children to share, children may do so, but they will not understand the reason for doing so, nor will they understand their parents’ intention.Children do not love to share, one reason is that children are in the “sense of real rights” sensitive period.Psychologists have found that children experience a “property right” sensitive period around the age of 2-3, when children are very possessive of their possessions and reluctant to share them.In fact, this is the establishment and development of the child’s self-consciousness, the child through the possession and domination of things to prove the existence of “I”.The second reason is that adults do not understand the importance of toys for children.Toys that are worthless to adults are very important to children, because children do not measure the value of an object by its price.His toy car is as valuable to a child as yours.So parents ask themselves, would you share your car?The third reason, just as the mother of the big boy said, is that the child does not want to share at the moment, the child is enjoying the fun of playing with toys, it is normal that he does not want to share.To satisfy oneself first, and then to satisfy others, is a way of self-love.If satisfy others but wronged yourself, then satisfy others will lose meaning.Therefore, the child does not want to share, not the child is selfish, not sensible, but we did not stand in the child’s point of view to look at this problem.Sharing is a virtue, parents should support children to share, but sharing is also a voluntary thing, children should experience happiness through sharing, not grievance.Want children to learn to share, parents can start from these three aspects: first, set an example.Parents themselves love sharing and set an example for their children. Children will learn from others and love sharing.Second, let children see the benefits of sharing.For example, teach your child that sharing will be appreciated and reciprocated, as well as what others share.Children see that the result of sharing is not to lose, but to gain more, naturally willing to share.Three, stand with your children.Encourage your child when he wants to share.Protect your child when he doesn’t want to share.Like the mom at the beginning of the article did.Persuading children that education can be done at home, but not on the spot, can hurt their self-esteem.Some people say, love children to understand children.Indeed, understanding is the prerequisite of love.To be a parent who understands your child, you can better accompany your child’s growth.